"To relax, to feel the love in your heart and keep to that as your focus in every situation - that's the meaning of spiritual surrender. It changes us. We become deeper, more attractive people."
Marianne Williamson
Fear and Thought -- Cancer Sun and jupiter in water trine between saturn, neptune and sun/ jupiter, with cancer new moon, and uranus/pluto t-square shifts with cancer planets.
~
Pause.
Breathe.
Ask gently, "how do i handle fear?"
"What we think we become.
What we can imagine, we can create.
Use the power of the mind for your good, to create.
use the power of imagination to dream,
watch your thoughts unify with your Self,
creating your heart's desires."
watch your thoughts unify with your Self,
creating your heart's desires."
--Vatiita Skelton
Embarrassing story actually... But... I remember it vividly. One of those moments where your mind observes every tiny detail and nuance, where time stands still. It's funny how those experiences we consider so horrible turn out to be a lightswitch in the midst of the darkness.
I started taking yoga at the Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist Cultural Center (TMBCC) in Bloomington, IN, in late January 2012. If I had any inkling of what I was to experience down the road, I might have destroyed it's beauty.
Before I had ventured out to TMBCC, I spent that winter alone most of the time till late evening when my current partner of 8 years would return. I remember thinking, "this is what winter feels like." Out alone in the woods, no car, snow everywhere, tiny itty bitty apartment I shared with a 6'4" 220 lb man, I felt winter that year. I had left my training ground, the yoga studio, Pranayoga School of Yoga and Health, in Fort Wayne to follow my partner for his job. I have to admit, I was bitter. Down to the core. Finally, I had found something I wanted to do. I tore myself from Prana with dread. Sticking to my promises, I was committed, even though the job he had gotten in Bloomington was nothing short of a nightmare. We all saw it, but we were desperate.
I said ok to an apartment that was wretchedly small, in the middle of the woods, and meanwhile he drove my car to work for 10-12 hours a day, me, carless. Yeah, I know, in hindsight I was being a brat, but I couldn't even find a place to do yoga in my home or outside. I was cramped, distressed, and losing patience.
So like any rational thinker, I decided to reject yoga. Yeah. I know what you're thinking. But I really did. I sought to soothe my discomfort by demoting what I knew to be the most delightful thing in my life. Hi Ego...yeah, didn't see it coming.
Sometimes, many times, maybe all the time, we create our own hell.
And our ego is the "satan" of our hell.
One version of the tarot shows the devil card (which is really about the ego, capricorn's shadow, the duality of the light and dark ego -a highly spiritual potential -, than the idealized archetype of many religions) as more of a container for our projections. The card shows those in hell not held by tight suffocating chains, trapping them to the "devil's" bidding. Rather, they are held by loose chains, free to go at any time, but unaware of how they, themselves, are choosing to stay in chains themselves.
We create our own hell.
And our issues can be reflected back inward through our thoughts.
The structures are created from our thoughts and emotions and reflected back outward as projection.
Reality is what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is what we believe.
What we believe is based upon our perceptions.
What we perceive depends upon what we look for.
What we look for depends upon what we think.
What we think depends upon what we perceive.
What we perceive determines what we believe.
What we believe determines what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is our reality.
? Gary Zukav, Dancing Wu Li Masters: An Overview of the New Physics
There is nothing wrong with you.
It is only the old story you are continuing to tell.
It is not the truth of who you are.
The truth is:You are truly magnificent
You were magnificent from birth.
You forgot.
It is time to remember.
Unknown
It's like we become puppets to the past, to our illusion of identity that the ego feels is formed by external forces, and we become lifeless. A shell, a puppet, a scared ego. We close ourselves off to our future through rigid perceptions.
what we've always known is the ego. we've formed perceptions as deep as our first moment in time.
The ‘I’ (awareness) casts off the illusions of ‘I’ (ego) and yet remains as the ‘I’ (awareness) - such is the paradox of Self-realization.
Ramana Maharshi
Ramana Maharshi
Dark Beauty Magazine //Photographer: Elena "KaSSandrA" Vizerskaya
"As is demonstrated by a wealth of historical examples, every form of fanaticism, every dogma and every type of compulsive one-sidedness is finally overthrown by precisely those elements which it has itself repressed, suppressed, or ignored."
- Erich Neumann, "Depth Psychology and a New Ethic"
Image: Fernan Federici
We've become one-sided towards ourselves. Too many limitations, too many thoughts, constructing without our conscious knowing, we've frozen our soul.
Because for some of us, it's all we've ever known....
______________________________
So, back to bloomington....
I remember in an effort to revive my yoga, I watched a documentary where a yogini chose one volunteer to go through three months of intensive yoga with the best teachers in the world. Pranayama, asana, meditation, all aspects of yoga represented.
She struggles through the documentary with his attitudes of pesimissim and rejection of certain aspects. He does meet a few teachers who affected him deeply, but overall he remained skeptical through the whole documentary.
At the end of the documentary, in the interview he admits that nothing had changed... he felt the same as always, but maybe a little more flexible and more in tune with his body. The brat in me stood up and yelled at the TV, "See!! Yoga does nothing!" I regret that lol. Definitely. 3 minutes later, the yogini returns with an update, that the man in the documentary who's life was in shambles before those 3 months suddenly seemed to be turning his life around into the one he had imagined. He fell in love, he got a job at a newspaper doing what he loved, his health improved, he payed more attention to his needs, his thoughts were quieter, and he was able to sleep again at night.
At the beginning, his life was a struggle.
I sat my arse back down, breathed, and decided I was full of shit. Yes. Exactly that. These thoughts, these comforts, these routines...just noise. Just noise.
Crying, i stood, I positioned my feet, pressed into my front foot sending my hip back, and bowed forward into my first triangle pose for 3 months.... In my skinny hallway. They always say, Imagine yourself between two planes of glass... I was definitely between the glass of my mind and my heart.
A few days later, I attended my first 2 hour yoga class at the TMBCC. I arranged my car, pulled out my yoga mat and pants, and decided it was time to go deeper. I took that Saturday 2 hour class because it was donation based and I got the most value for my money (did I mention I'm a capricorn rising lol) at a point when I didn't have money to even survive. So I would collect my coins and go to yoga, every Saturday... because what I found there I fell in love with...I for the first time felt the sensations of identifying the energy pulsing through my breath and body in a new subtle way with this beautiful tantric, kundalini, martial arts, kriya, hatha inspired teaching.
One of the teachers, creator, and yoga curator at the center, Winnie Edgerton, changed my life. Her beauty and energy could soothe a serial killer to cry...and she taught me about my energy, and had this amazing way of giving me enough, yet subtle (like a tantric teacher would), information at exactly the right time.
Long story short, the Buddhists accepted me as their "yoga child" and offered me a class to teach. FEAR.
And there's something astoundingly powerful about fear....
it will kill EVERYTHING you love if you give it power.
I had just graduated my 200 hour yoga teacher training, subbed/taught only about 15 hours, brand new to this, and frankly it threatened my perfectionist. I was SCARED to teach yoga... scared shitless to be frank. The more you TRY to teach yoga, the more your ego gets involved, and the more you watch yourself strangle it to death. Like everything, you either do it or you don't... trying is the illusion.
I loved yoga because it brought me back to life, but at the same time, that was so much responsibility to teach other people skills to awaken themselves. I thought, what do I know!? That is my programming...my thoughts to be released, because perfectionism kills every spark of life energy with fear. Fear. Fear. Fear.
And that's what i felt. But like my Capricorn / Libra Saturn partnership in my chart implies, I can't say no. Shadow of capricorn is fear. Worry:: unrooted from spirit, absorbed in the mundane of this stressful world. Fear:: believing the lies of the mind about the unknown of the future.
Well, to say it bluntly, that first class was top 5 most embarrassing yet revealing times of my life. In all seriousness, I brought all my crap to the mat that day: my perfectionism, my illusion, my ego's struggle, my perfectionistic programming, and my lack of ease and love for myself.
I knew who I was... I was a yogini at heart, and a yoga teacher by dharma.
But I didn't BELIEVE who i was.
I still believed in the old: that I wasn't good enough.
And it killed the class. I killed the class because I wanted it to be good because I wanted to give back... because I wanted to share yoga.
My mentor saw this. She saw through my "overly put together" exterior that I constructed in childhood to hide my sensitive nature Cancer nature from my Capricorn ego fears. I ejected myself from the present through removing myself from life due to fear... a Capricorn's worst fear. And I relied on structure, rules and perfectionism to navigate myself in reality. I let my thoughts control my center. I was scared of success, unloving to myself, and it's a disease of our culture:
"We used to trust but often projected fears from others dissolved that trust... you can find the trust back by observing your actions and choosing a decision that is not based on your past..."
Martin Soulreader
We develop a total lack of perspective beyond the illusion of judging ourselves and others so harshly. we break ourselves down (Capricorn / Saturn shadow), losing our emotional / nurturing connection towards ourselves as we spend our energy feeding our perceived negative attributes. Really, because we learn to fear and distrust, not love ourselves (cancer shadow), the thoughts remain as our identity as the world in it's current construction, reflects back to us that we're doing the right thing by worrying, distrusting ourselves and fearing the future and unknown. Because culture knows life to be a struggle - a sole endeavor of effort, lacking spirit and love's quality of effortlessness, of be-ing - the false pleasures it offers in exchange to soothe the "imaginary struggle." They only feed into our projections as we place our issues on those external pleasures and develop habits and addictions and reinforce them every time we reach for that "thing" "person" " object". Our culture as a whole has a total disregard for turning inward for the sake of busyness and as if there's something to accomplish to prove our worth. Really?!! We're so mean to ourselves through our thoughts, and we've reacted to the programming, aligning to the cycle deeper!!
There is a life-force within your soul,
seek that life.
There is a gem in the mountain of your body
Seek that mine.
O traveler, if you are in search of that
Don't look outside ...
Look inside yourself and seek that.
Rumi
Rumi
We lose our gem.
That gem is positive Capricorn Ego, spiritual, whole within itself, yet forever seeking expression through our human form. The symbol animal for this kind of enlightenment through Capricorn themes is the unicorn. Mythical. Known to be magical, uniting will and spirit to direct matter through thought and emotion. That spiritual Ego, or our higher self is so important to the Saturnian nature of Capricorn. It is to integrate with the heart, pointing us towards dharma, purpose, and manifesting that purpose as we begin to move with the flow and feel the ease of life placing us in the right place, right time, without our striving, yearning, etc. The futility of the ego to seek to soothe the discomfort of the earthly ego's demand for societal demarcations of success and purpose in order to be fulfilled is so because the issue circles around and around in the quest to soothe something that is an illusion to begin with. It's a trap. The ego does so in the sake of the soul, to externally relate the purpose inward... but in that we trap it in duality, limitation...it is our false purpose, our earthly body becoming the singularity through the mind.
When we expand beyond the ego, that singularity of our machine mind, we find expansion into the lighter parts of life, leaving the dense projection that we are all these things that happen to us, these thoughts, these experiences, and the lack we feel, as we find this connection to the deeper parts of the higher self.
once we identify that we are everything, and in that we are also nothing, we open ourselves us to deeper truth, deeper questions, more well suited. the questions emerge not in the singularity of ego that is the endless circle of suffering, but rather in what forms such truths of the Self, pure consciousness.
The higher self speaks softly, until we quiet the noise. without the noise of our ego, our thoughts, we find that the voice isn't so soft, but vibrant and full. Trust returns.
Vulnerability is strong when we believe in that fullness: when we believe the affirmation:
"I have a strong, happy, healthy, and protected heart."
we enter the stillness to find our voice, to build the connection inward that builds the heart in strength, happiness, and protection, forming a healthy shell through which the heart can pop wide open, and love what it loves and learn to let go when it's time. And that is vulnerability in the Now moment: completely connected, moving from the internal to the external, avoiding the hard shell that forms through believing we have to protect our heart that comes from letting the external move in without gaurd... moving from our heart rather than ego.
"every person is born with a soul in seed form, and need only discover the "blueprint" of that seed in order to attract the exact experiences needed to nurture its potential."
--Rob Brezsny, www.freewillastrology.com
Our thoughts can be lost in energetic black holes. We feed fear into fear and more fear until what even makes us happy creates a fear from loss.
At least that's my experience of ego.... the constant need to define the future. The constant need to think.
Until something comes along, a catalyst, and we find our truth.
This can be uncomfortable... and not because truth is uncomfortable. Rather our illusion fights the truth, and this is suffering.
"Many of us are essentially asleep, even as we walk around in broad daylight. We're so focused on the restless narratives and repetitive fantasies unfurling in our heads that we only dimly perceive the larger story raging in all of its chaotic beauty around us.
To have any hope of permanently breaking out of our fuzzy trance, we require regular shocks. A single jolt might cause us to briefly come to attention and see the miracle of creation for what it is, but once the red alert has passed, we relax back into our fixation on the dreamy tales our mind never stops telling us.
In the course of its conspiracy to shower us with blessings, life does its best to provide us with a steady flow of healing shocks. But because it tends to err on the side of tenderness, its prods may be too gentle, allowing us to ignore them. Gradually, life will up the ante, trying to find the right mix of toughness and love, as it encourages us to WAKE UP!
But our addiction to the phantasmagoria is tenacious. The stream-of-conscious narratives and ever-bubbling fantasies, even when they're racked with torment and terror, are perversely entertaining. And so we may avoid responding to the kind shocks for so long that life finally has to resort to stronger medicine. Then we might get sick or lose our job or muck up our closest relationship.
It doesn't have to be that way. We could cultivate in ourselves a sixth sense for the wake-up calls life sends us. We might develop a knack for responding with agile grace to the early, gentler ones so that we wouldn't have to be visited by the more stringent measures.
There's also another possibility: With hungry intent, we could seek out and hunt down invigorating jolts. We wouldn't wait to have our asses kicked, but would kick our own asses -- over and over again, with a creative ingenuity.
Who knows? We might even master the art of inducing shocks that feel really good." -- Rob Brezsny
To have any hope of permanently breaking out of our fuzzy trance, we require regular shocks. A single jolt might cause us to briefly come to attention and see the miracle of creation for what it is, but once the red alert has passed, we relax back into our fixation on the dreamy tales our mind never stops telling us.
In the course of its conspiracy to shower us with blessings, life does its best to provide us with a steady flow of healing shocks. But because it tends to err on the side of tenderness, its prods may be too gentle, allowing us to ignore them. Gradually, life will up the ante, trying to find the right mix of toughness and love, as it encourages us to WAKE UP!
But our addiction to the phantasmagoria is tenacious. The stream-of-conscious narratives and ever-bubbling fantasies, even when they're racked with torment and terror, are perversely entertaining. And so we may avoid responding to the kind shocks for so long that life finally has to resort to stronger medicine. Then we might get sick or lose our job or muck up our closest relationship.
It doesn't have to be that way. We could cultivate in ourselves a sixth sense for the wake-up calls life sends us. We might develop a knack for responding with agile grace to the early, gentler ones so that we wouldn't have to be visited by the more stringent measures.
There's also another possibility: With hungry intent, we could seek out and hunt down invigorating jolts. We wouldn't wait to have our asses kicked, but would kick our own asses -- over and over again, with a creative ingenuity.
Who knows? We might even master the art of inducing shocks that feel really good." -- Rob Brezsny
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Back to the story.....
So, she saw me. This beautiful vibrant energy of her soul saw ME.... Vulnerability at its finest. It was uncomfortable, I was afraid.
We only have one version of the definition of vulnerable I've found: that it implies vulnerability to attack... but what if it meant a state of strength, internalized, that withstood the shit around us enough so we could continue to be ourselves, no matter our experience.
I wanted desperately growing up for someone to see it. Now that someone did, i felt the illusion, saw it with clarity as it started to disentegrate.
She was silent for about a month afterwards (she comes back, the drama unfolds soon lol), but you know what... she loved every bit of me through it, and the second lesson came through ignoring me. Not on purpose... she gave me space to see. She KNEW I was disintegrating something big.
I hurt my foot and ankle severely the next day (no, I'm not kidding) marching my unconscious self out of Kroger on rough pavement from construction, and filled with fear, because she offered me two more a week...........
.......
.......
.
um... really.
We agreed that might be ridiculous after i injured myself. But I kept one ;) No, not kidding again.
i taught yoga for 2 months on crutches.
Yup.
And for some reason, every class was filled with beginners.
MMMhmmmm.
Can't show em with my body. Had to walk em through it.... with my words.
Hurdle #2000 to teaching yoga:: Fear of my words.
My whole life I was blocked, unable to speak my watery words (mercury - communication, in cancer - water, emotion, current placement right now btw...).
In the second level of Shambala meditation training, I got a private interview with her to ask questions and talk about the experience. I had been crying for 2 days at this point. mmmhmmm vulnerability builds strength, on the inside if we let it.
I exploded in tears and frustration and said,
"I had no idea my life was full of so much fear! Even the positive things are filled with fear because I'm scared they'll leave too! Why!?"
I had been on the couch for 1 month at that point with my injury. I call the month that followed my month of sorrow.
She said to me, honest as ever....
" I know."
"I had no idea you were so hard on yourself, such a perfectionist, Vatiita.... I saw your gentleness, you big heart, but I had no idea what drove you."
Vatiita: the words Vata and Pitta in union.
Vata: anxious, gentle, sweet, airy and light
Pitta: stubborn, ambitious, aggressive, powerful, firey, action, competitive
Vatiita was born.
She said then,
"Stop slapping fear then."
"Soften. Do yoga to feel heavy.... you're too light... floating... spiritual but ungrounded, thinking you have something to earn."
....
Called me on my shit....
"You don't run up to fear and slap it in the face. You saunter up to it, you ask it questions, you learn to love it, embrace it like a friend, and use it to move forward in awareness.... fear makes you awake."
Fear awakens us?
When we don't react. When we learn to let it guide us through, we develop a relationship beyond our ego. A relationship to our dharma. The universe is guiding us to our dharma:: purpose, effortless effort in action.
Dharma:
Capricorn yogastrology theme: Dharma-->> commitment, compassion, contentment.
Brihadaranyaka Upanishad: “Original Truth...natural harmony, and the purest of all reality.” (dropping illusion of mind and fear)
Chinese tao: “To a natural flow and absolute justice.
"the precious moments when you sense pervasive order, beauty and balance, when you are aware that everything is in harmony and you breathe a sigh of relief; when you are genuinely content." Yogastrology
“the master observes the world
But trusts his inner vision.
he allows things to come and go.
His heart is open as the sky.”
Tao Te Ching
Pluto is in Capricorn. The planet of the underworld, the depths of the human psyche, the transformation that leads us from mundane attached ego assholes, to the observer, the witness, to the higher self: the pheonix.
Fully connected. Fully aware. Fully conscious.
During my 2nd month on the couch I found something. I call it my vortex: the spiral to the depths... the spiral down to my shadow. I fell in. But I found something down there:: complete boredom with the cycle of fear. It's taken me a year to burn it from my programming,, but that day, I was done.
I say
that day, a pheonix came,
and took me
away,
out of that vortex.
but I turned to face the pheonix
and saw nothing.
The pheonix was there.
But the pheonix was my transformation.
I. Was. The. Pheonix
Up and out from the vortex of negativity, and i declared I would walk again.
I had given up, on everything, again, and I was bored with it.
And that day I saw the pheonix (and certain "types" of people, left unlabeled, gave me THAT look...like I was from a different universe.), the cycle of my dharma began to make sense.
dharma:
it is our yoga in the world.
and the universe is conspiring for your good to ensure that you get there.
do you believe it?
do you trust that the universe is supporting you for your dharma, your beauty, connection, and purpose?
The more you struggle with that veil of illusion of fear, the more uncomfortable the truth is ;)
"Whoever you think you are, whatever friendly monsters you've tried to make into your gods and goddesses, whatever media viruses you might have invited into your most private sanctuaries-you can decide right now that your turning point has arrived. You can decide that you're ready to change your lives ... and change your signs ... and change your changing. Because when you tuned in the Televisionary Oracle, you tuned into your own purified, glorified, unified, and mystifying self."
--Rob Brezsny "Free Will Astrology", Intro to Televisionary Oracle
We all have monsters. With this new moon and sun combo in Cancer, the ruler the moon to the Sun also in the ruler of the moon, making a connection to our softness, the water trine, and our tension of transformation in the pluto uranus t-square our awareness shifts to the themes of nature, feeling, beauty, and sensuality (not just sexual, but intimate connection to all living things) and how we incorporate the ease of the internal reaching out into the external to create effortless action towards our dharma.
What are you committed to?
How does compassion show up in your life?
Where do you find the greatest contentment?
(--yogastrology: yoga meets astrology)
focus thoughts on what you want, not on the obstacles or the fear produced by the ego imagining it's demise, it's own apocolypse, or in greek::
"THE LIFTING OF THE VEIL"...
“Awake my dear,
be kind to your sleeping heart,
Take it out to the vast field of light,
And let it BREATHE.”
--Hafiz
I feel our individual apocalypse coming.... it's definitely not "bad". Think REVOLUTION. Yogastrology theme for this new moon and sun in cancer: “I have a strong and protected, happy heart.” , the thoughts and emotions (water trine getting into our habitual habits and ways of "being").
First "reprogramming," aka, releasing into the new / transformation, comes through acceptance, releasing emotion and getting "real" with ourselves. Getting through the veil into the true Self, and becoming aware of the depths of our experience... and then realizing the illusion of attachment... we are nothing, we are everything, and we are no longer defined by our experience or the by-products (thought / emotion). The truth is easeful, and soft. Truth is also not necessarially comfortable and can be painful, but the pain comes in through the 'suffering" of the ego. The "mind" holds the illusion.
uranus in aries Square Pluto in Capricorn: CONSCIOUS EVOLUTION AND REVOLUTION
San Francisco Astrological Society
"Cancer Sun sq Aries Uranus, cont. T-Square. “Wait until Jupiter comes along.” Warns Sun. “So our rebellion gets emotional, eh?” says Uranus."
"Without the attention towards the Self, the cancer shell that protects our soft insides becomes crusty, petrified, unwilling to change or let go. Nurturing the self, the heart, creates a healthy environment of empowerment. We always have a choice to face what’s inside, or we can let the cosmos show us externally, drawing us subconsciously what we need to address...
which from my experience is much more painful and uncomfortable, but sometimes necessary as the unconscious well runs deep.
when we allow ourselves to express our hearts, gazing inward and embracing the totality of emotion and thought, that shell becomes flexible. Protective but responsive instead of reactive, the shadow of cancer. Dealing with emotion is never easy, but the illusion of storing them to keep the heart safe is never any more comfortable.
Note, the shell is on the OUTSIDE, not the inside. Embrace your beauty. Embrace your whole self.”--Vatiita Skelton
So we soften.
I remember in that room with Winnie... I cried and cried. I remember marching out of that Kroger enwrapt in fear, with my giant thing of papertowels and toilet paper and oddly a skillet: fear of a new life, endings, and beginnings. Themes of Pluto in Capricorn... birth, life, death, rebirth. And I THOUGHT I couldn't let go.... my EGO couldn't let go into what it actually wanted because it feared inadequacy in itself getting what it wanted.
whoa. The ego catches itself in endless loops and thinking.
So the universe showed me what I was doing to myself through an injury that taught me STILLNESS... how to sit with that inner, soft, place and find that strength that came through vulnerability.
Attune to the energy urging us to go within with love and compassion; engage it, you'll begin the process of change, of lifting the veil of habitual thought and returning to the now. Fight the energy, and you end up tripping in Kroger with so much toilet paper and a silly skillet...
... not really, but I think we all have experienced this in some form. I felt ridiculous as i dislocated my ankle and bruised every muscle in my foot I think possible. The whole foot froze in shock, stuck in a pattern of clenching and tension. I had to teach myself to breathe and relax consciously to heal it. But the injury was an even longer story.
I literally scared the crap out of my foot.... I scared it to death. I was scared.
And you know what happened... Vatiita learned how to teach yoga....
On Crutches....
Tadaaaaa. Here I am, a year and so later. Teaching yoga, connecting with my dharma. And I didn't expect that path to it.
What are you committed to?
How does compassion show up in your life?
Where do you find the greatest contentment?
(--yogastrology: yoga meets astrology :: capricorn / pluto / transformation)
The wisdom of your own heart and body is worth the listen. Listen to the energy, the pulse the rhythm. let it DRAW you inside with sensations, motion, and ease, grounding your Self through the breath and body merging into flow. Let it awaken that inner landscape where the emotions are, where the perception of the observer is free from the crust of our perceptions, our veil.
**See blog post: breath and body merging **
We are neither our thoughts, our body, or our emotions. We are simply experiencing them. Simply.... ;)
Ask your heart.... What's next?
What am I trying to "birth" into creation from my dharma, my soul purpose?
how can I walk with ease with my experience? How do I nurture myself and draw inward?
" action-ing your PURPOSE: honor however you feel today. If you need to lay low, then do so, if you need to be busy then do so. Our purpose is being activated & our purpose is all about using the talents & skills we are good at & that we love, that makes our heart sing. So make sure you are recognizing & not overlooking using your talents. Seek deep into your heart today & ask, "What am I here to use?" The answers will flow...trust" --Elizabeth Peru
So, How do we handle fear?
Do we run up to it and slap it in aggression, trying to fight it?Or do we shine a "flashlight" on it, our awareness, (the sun, currently in the sign seeking to draw in experience our experience from the inside out; the sign associated by ancient yogis with the chest, sign of Cancer, "ruler" of the moon)
When we use our inner light and awareness, the dark becomes rich with meaning, the veil lifts, and we see clearly.
______________________________
"One zen student said, “My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating.”
The second said, “My teacher has so much self-control, he can go days without sleep.”
The third said, “My teacher is so wise that he eats when he’s hungry and sleeps when he’s tired.”
--Rob Brezsny, "Free Will Astrology"
EASE. Drop the struggle.
Think Attune, empower, nurture.
Love.
Saunter to your shadow, your fear, shake its hand, maybe, hug, possibly a smile....
A smile at that deepest darkest shame.
The heart opens, as the crust, the veil from pent up 'crap' - sorrows to joys, thoughts to feelings, memories to heart aches, etc - we collect from experiences which the ego tries to organize into good, bad, strong, weak, patterns, habits, identity, etc. Judgement releases as we open our hearts towards ourselves and let that love blooming from a nurtured, centered, Self reach out with vulnerability and empathy towards others in strong, embodied, powerful ways.
Letting fear consume us, slapping it, gets nowhere.
Feed it your light, love, beauty.
give your power, your thoughts to the positive, the light, the love.
Giving fear more fear energy, more of the same, only creates more of the same...
Fear.
Same with any energy, emotion or thought.
Rather, feed them light and watch them pass through the mind and body with the breath, from heavy to light / earth and water to air and fire
And here we merge into wholeness.
Earth behaving as air.
Water behaving as fire.
Earth behaving as air.
Water behaving as fire.
"The more we feed anything the same, the stronger it becomes"
The new is waiting for your energy, your love, your light :) Release the energy from fear by giving it to the new:: The tension of change releases.
black matter = potential / power in the universe.
It explodes in reaction to light into form.
Shadow = potential, awareness, mindfulness, empowerment through it's journey and it's lifting
Explode your own black matter into Light, using the light.
Embracing our humanity in all our deep shadowy forms creates release, letting it empower you.
And remember: :)
Kermit knows what's up ;)
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